Home to the U.S.

Persons and Shresthas

When it's time to leave, Andrew, Subechya, and Matt accompany me and one of the other guests, Maren, back to Tribhuvan Airport for our 11:15 pm flight to Hong Kong. (Matt is staying on to go on a 10-day trek to  Annapurna Base Camp with a hired guide. I later hear about his overnight stays in primitive tea houses along the way and encounters with large goat herds on the trail.) Andrew and Subechya will fly back to San Francisco later too.

Traveling to Nepal has been a wonderful experience! The sights and sounds of Kathmandu and Nagarkot were amazing, the food tasty, the wedding colorful and exciting, and my new relatives and the many other people I met friendly, welcoming, and very nice. I wouldn't have missed this for the world!

Nagarkot

To thank us for traveling to Nepal Andrew and Subechya have chartered a bus two days later to take us up to the mountain resort of Nagarkot where we'll stay overnight. At 6,722 feet our hotel balcony offers us a panoramic view of the Himalayas, from Dhaulagiri in the west to Mt. Everest and Kanchenjunga in the east. We rise at 5:30 the next morning to catch the sunrise over the Himalayas. Later, riding down the winding one-lane road back to Kathmandu, our bus slows several times to squeeze by vehicles going uphill. We hold our breaths hoping that we don't scrape together or careen off the edge of the road into a canyon. Fortunately we make it back in one piece.

Prayer flags at Swayambhunath

Back at the hotel we women guests are helped by some of Subechya's aunts to dress in saris. (Wearing one was voluntary but since I'd never had one on I decided to grab at the chance!) Then it's on to the reception where everyone greets the newlyweds, and we eat, drink, and dance the night away. I'm introduced to Sabal's girlfriend's father who is an accomplished Thangka artist, and he gives me a lovely silk Nepali scarf to wear around my shoulders.

A Temple Visit

Swayambhunath Temple is a very impressive Buddhist temple that sits upon a hilltop. It is also known as the Monkey Temple because of the wild rhesus monkeys that scramble around the grounds. In the center is a large white stupa, or whitewashed dome, crowned with a gilded spire that is painted with the eyes of the Buddha. The strong smell of burning incense and butter lamps greets you as you enter the grounds, and you can see the faithful circling the stupa, spinning the small cylindrical metal prayer wheels with their hands as they walk around it clockwise. Near the stupa hundreds of colorful prayer flags flutter high above in the breeze.

 

Seeing the Sights of Kathmandu

 May 7
The next day is free for sightseeing so I join four of Andrew's and Subechya's friends to visit a temple and to shop in nearby Thamel. Compared to the peaceful, lush green grounds of our modern hotel, the streets of Kathmandu are a madhouse! There are almost no traffic signals or stop signs anywhere so our small taxi and the other vehicles honk their horns constantly to warn others and to keep from running into each other. Trucks, cars, buses, motorcycles, pedicabs, and pedestrians enter the street from all angles at all times. Amazingly, I don't see any traffic accidents.

Alongside the streets everywhere vendors display their foods and wares for sale on cloths on the ground as well as in small open-air shops. I see a couple of men with old treadle Singer sewing machines open for business on street corner sidewalks. Small fires burn in a few places, adding to the air pollution from the exhaust-spewing vehicles. And over the course of many miles of city streets I see a few cattle wandering about, untouchable because of Hindu beliefs. This is my welcome to the Third World!

Pita Biee

Later comes pita biee, or the time when the bride says goodbye to her family members so that she can join the groom's family. After a few shared tears, Subechya is carried out to the wedding car on her brother Sabal's back. They circle the car first three times as we all laugh at the sight and snap pictures.





I get to ride in the wedding car again for the muke herne, or first visit to the bride's new home. I had only learned the day before from Sabal that Subechya's gift from their father is a new house, just completed! By tradition I hold Subechya's hand as we climb the many steps to enter her new home. Later Andrew tells me that they do not plan to live in it, but to rent it out.

Swayambar, The Wedding Ceremony

Swayambar is the main event, the exact date and time for it having been determined by Andrew's horoscope. In the Shresthas' back yard is a colorful canopied stand decorated with flowers, the setting for the Newari wedding ceremony. Andrew and Subechya are seated on a small love seat with many of her aunts and other family members surrounding them, the women in bright-colored saris. A Hindu priest in shirt sleeves conducts the solemn, hour-long ceremony in Sanskrit while a cousin translates it into English for us. Andrew applies sindoor, an orange powder, to his bride's forehead, and he and Subechya exchange flower garlands. After he also gives her a long green piece of jewelry, potte, they are now married! A lavish outdoor buffet follows and we celebrate.