Swayambar, The Wedding Ceremony

Swayambar is the main event, the exact date and time for it having been determined by Andrew's horoscope. In the Shresthas' back yard is a colorful canopied stand decorated with flowers, the setting for the Newari wedding ceremony. Andrew and Subechya are seated on a small love seat with many of her aunts and other family members surrounding them, the women in bright-colored saris. A Hindu priest in shirt sleeves conducts the solemn, hour-long ceremony in Sanskrit while a cousin translates it into English for us. Andrew applies sindoor, an orange powder, to his bride's forehead, and he and Subechya exchange flower garlands. After he also gives her a long green piece of jewelry, potte, they are now married! A lavish outdoor buffet follows and we celebrate.

The Groom's Arrival

May 6
For Jhanti, or The Groom's Arrival, we all meet Andrew outside the hotel under the portico to proceed to the Shrestha home. As mother of the groom I get to ride in the flower-decorated car while the young guests walk ahead in a procession, accompanied by a bagpipe-playing band. The men guests have all been given Nepali hats, or topis, to wear if they wish. At the house Subechya's mother places marigold leis around our necks to welcome us and applies a red dot made from crushed flowers to our foreheads, a tika. There is much excitement and many smiles. It's sunny and mild, a perfect day for the wedding!

Our Families Meet

May 5

The day before the wedding we meet Subechya's parents at their large house for supari, or the bridal shower. Her father speaks English, and her mother a little less, but they as well as the many other relatives gathered there are all very friendly and welcoming. We are served a buffet of tasty Nepali and Indian dishes. Afterwards eight young women guests and friends of Andrew and Subechya who have flown to Nepal and I are treated to intricate decorative henna designs applied to our hands and forearms by an artist. When my turn comes to receive them I have to laugh when, during this centuries-old tradition, the sari-clad woman's cell phone rings and she puts down her henna tube to answer it!                  

Off to Nepal!

May 3 at 1:20 AM
My oldest son, Matt, and I take off from San Francisco for a 14-hour flight to Hong Kong on the first leg of our journey to Kathmandu, Nepal. Never in my wildest dreams, back in Mrs. Stauffer's 7th grade social studies class where I learned world geography, could I have imagined that one day I would travel halfway around the world to watch a son of mine get married!
My youngest son, Andrew, is marrying Subechya Shrestha who he met at work in San Francisco. They both have degrees in economics, he from the University of California, Berkeley, and she from Macalester College in Minneapolis. She speaks English excellently, as well as three other languages.

Matt and I have an 11 1/2- hour layover in Hong Kong. Luckily he has a college friend from Stanford who lives there, and she and her husband meet us for dim sum in central Hong Kong. Then it's back to the airport to catch our Dragonair jet for the 5-hour flight to Kathmandu. (I look out the window on board but I don't see any dragons!) After landing and obtaining visas at the Kathmandu airport where Andrew and Subechya meet us, Matt and I arrive at our hotel and collapse into our beds after midnight on May 4. Jet lag has me rising at 5:00 the next morning, though, and I walk the hotel grounds taking pictures, including the one above.